After the opener, you need exactly three things, and the discipline is in refusing to add a fourth. Long cold emails do not get read carefully, they get read diagonally and deleted.
The three sentences
- Problem: name the cost of what you noticed, in their terms.
- Proof: one line that you have fixed this before, with a number.
- Ask: a single, small, specific next step.
The whole email
You added a subscribe option in March, but checkout still
asks for an account first — that pattern usually costs
20-30% of mobile conversions.
I rebuilt this flow for another skincare brand last quarter
and mobile checkout completion went from 41% to 63% in
three weeks.
Want me to send the two-minute teardown of yours?
Notice what is missing: no bio, no company history, no list of services, no attachment, no calendar link. Those all belong in the reply, once someone has said they are interested.
Try it
Write your three sentences for one prospect, then delete every sentence that is not one of the three. Count the words — if you are over 120, cut again.